Well, before I continue with my reflection for the day, I have to announce that the previous posts that I made were complete shit so I deleted them. You see, when you let me just rant and vent about the crap I see it's wrong usually I'll say "man, this is useless" and I delete it. So next time any of you try to stop me or make me remove a post I will leave it permanently and fuck you all. This blog was designed for my right to rant and express myself about whatever the hell I want, not for your whiny comments and telling me to drop something on a public web. You miss the point that most things are made for the public to see for a reason, I do it because I want people to know just what kind of asshole can I be and the other side of me (the good, intellectual side). I really don't know about your rights on other countries, but here in US ground I have the right to express myself in whatever form I see fit and without consulting you, my parents, or the president.
Anyways, on with the reflexion itself.
After what happened and the fight I had with that chick, Delia, I decided to say fuck it all. Yes, I finally moved on from that stage of my life (ex girlfriend and her), although I am still single. Now, you might probably say "but Bloodedge, you can't move on by being single! You need to start dating!" And the answer is no, I don't fucking need to date right now, probably not until my projected graduation in 4 years from now in a Master's degree in History anyways.
That being said, I am taking a different approach to life now. I want to focus all I can on my education. My education is way more important than deciding who I want to marry anyways at this point in my life so that's on the side now. And I am shifting my entire career: I still want to do research, but I am taking the back seat on my entire business thing now that I am on my way to become a teacher. As I am into this more and more I see that I have what it takes to excel as a teacher, even if I am not a leader of a company I can still make a greater impact by being a teacher.
My dream is to set my mark on the world, and teaching is what will make me the happiest at achieving that task really. I am happier at this than any other thing, maybe even to the point of taking history down a notch on my top list.
Most people will feel disappointed at this change, as they probably expected me to become something important and high on the world, but really and truly being a teacher is a great responsibility, even more than an invention. I have concluded that by being a teacher I am living in both body and spirit my beliefs, and I like to think that I can change one's view of the world, and it inclines me to be even more disciplined since now because, how will I be able to teach if I am not a good teacher and student myself?
In conclusion, let me recap:
1 - I am definitely over with my whole mourning over my loss and anger and all of that.
2 - The prior rants were completely useless, but I hope they taught a lesson to those I tried to reach
3 - I am happy that my ex (sorta, and I say sorta not because we are still together or even talking) did finally find someone who was nice to her.
4 - I am shifting my entire goals and purposes, dating and history taking a deep back seat for education
5 - I am trying to become what a teacher should be.
With those points in mind, I leave this reflexion as finished.
"To become a teacher, one needs not be smart, or diligent, or even good at their subject. It is a combination of knowledge, discipline, wisdom and other things that distinguishes a leader as well as a teacher" - Own
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