This is not a continuation of the Blog. It is just to give out where you can follow me if you want to.
Twitter: Protoman890
Facebook: Charles Ochoa (charles.ochoa@mavs.uta.edu)
Gmail (Google Buzz/Orkut/Sites/Blogger etc.): blackfalconchr@gmail.com
Yahoo!: croskyline@sbcglobal.net
Wordpress Blogs:
News: http://protonews89.wordpress.com/
Personal: http://protoman89.wordpress.com/
Posterous:
Streamshot (News):http://streamshot.posterous.com
More coming soon.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Closure
Well, this will be my last post on this account. I have a new account which is for my new life and it's more professionally looking than this one, just to show that I am doing great and that I am advancing up the ladder of life.
My life after what happened is actually going pretty damn well. I'm at school, I am getting high grades (As and very few Bs) and I actually am becoming more social and more skilled at my favorite things which are playing guitar (and now I sing while playing it!) and design. As a matter of fact I am posting my designs on a website that will be posted at my other blogs and my twitter profile.
Oh yes, talking about social networks I am becoming more influent on my own home country's social net. Many people know me across Latin America on twitter and I'm known to follow the latest news and report on them minute by minute. I love this net journaling thing, many people do not realize the potential of social networks until we start linking it with a career like history or journalism. I can even profit from being a net journalist, which I am doing as I speak since news streams are starting to follow me.
Also another good thing is that my ex-ex-girlfriend and I are in better terms now, even to the point to where I can say I am falling for her again. She had a horrible time waiting for me and she almost gave up, but thanks to God I have matured and I really saw her as she was: a woman with a lot of good things that I never saw before. Yes, I did moan about her to everyone but that was my way of forgetting her and let her move on, but I see now how futile that was and now I am ready to pursue a more serious relationship with her and not rush it like I did before.
And about her, what can I really say? She's considerate, charming, she and I understand each other a lot and we are both happy with each other. Even with my last girlfriend I never had this connection. She bore with my rejections when I was with her because I wanted to keep my relationship as clean as possible from failing to my own contract with my ex, and she even waited while I was working and getting over my ex, and now that I know that the ego is dangerous and became more humble she is still there. Yes, we did start sort of antagonistic, but now we say sweet things to each other and I am happy as I can ever be with her.
Well, I am closing this blog now along with my personal project that got corrupted by my immaturity. I am starting the Azure Project and this one will hopefully yield better results.
Good bye people, it was nice ranting about things in here.
My life after what happened is actually going pretty damn well. I'm at school, I am getting high grades (As and very few Bs) and I actually am becoming more social and more skilled at my favorite things which are playing guitar (and now I sing while playing it!) and design. As a matter of fact I am posting my designs on a website that will be posted at my other blogs and my twitter profile.
Oh yes, talking about social networks I am becoming more influent on my own home country's social net. Many people know me across Latin America on twitter and I'm known to follow the latest news and report on them minute by minute. I love this net journaling thing, many people do not realize the potential of social networks until we start linking it with a career like history or journalism. I can even profit from being a net journalist, which I am doing as I speak since news streams are starting to follow me.
Also another good thing is that my ex-ex-girlfriend and I are in better terms now, even to the point to where I can say I am falling for her again. She had a horrible time waiting for me and she almost gave up, but thanks to God I have matured and I really saw her as she was: a woman with a lot of good things that I never saw before. Yes, I did moan about her to everyone but that was my way of forgetting her and let her move on, but I see now how futile that was and now I am ready to pursue a more serious relationship with her and not rush it like I did before.
And about her, what can I really say? She's considerate, charming, she and I understand each other a lot and we are both happy with each other. Even with my last girlfriend I never had this connection. She bore with my rejections when I was with her because I wanted to keep my relationship as clean as possible from failing to my own contract with my ex, and she even waited while I was working and getting over my ex, and now that I know that the ego is dangerous and became more humble she is still there. Yes, we did start sort of antagonistic, but now we say sweet things to each other and I am happy as I can ever be with her.
Well, I am closing this blog now along with my personal project that got corrupted by my immaturity. I am starting the Azure Project and this one will hopefully yield better results.
Good bye people, it was nice ranting about things in here.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
About last post
Alright you know what? I'll explain last post.
The last post wasn't about me actually wanting to go back and actually "licking" the "wound" I created. Hell, I shouldn't have placed that shit at all!
Look, I know some of you (you know who you are and don't try to act like an idiot) have posted on your wall what I consider a fucking insult to something I did OUT OF MY HEART! This is the last time I ever post ANYTHING regretting my actions. If you can't bear for someone who harmed you to come back and say "alright I was wrong, I apologize" then you don't need to hear my apologies now don't you? No, in fact, I am right, you don't need to hear shit from me!
I really try to be at peace, I really do, but you people would rather be stuck up assholes and bitch about how "soft" I become all of a sudden. You know? Last time I did this shit I got insulted also, so fuck all of you, I am not posting anything soft, ever, period. And if you ask "oh, but you tend to do it anyways" well guess what? I WON'T FUCKING DO IT! Just posts about my week or month from now on, don't wanna stare at any of your bullshit any longer.
Now, for my ex-girlfriend (who started some bullshit post) let me tell you: HAHAHAHAHA! Really? Me trying to clean up a mess? No, I merely was wishing you to have a nice life, I am not interested in coming back with you nor do I have feelings for you anymore. I mean, sure, you still hold a place in my life, and as a person I wish you the best since I can't hate you (alright, I admit, I was so pissed off at you that I woke up for 3 weeks getting upset at you but couldn't do shit about it, so I just made journals about how stupid you were, and I'm still pissed at you and everytime I think about you it fucking pisses me off FYI!) but seriously, stop assuming shit I haven't even said nor implied. The song was just to wish you a happy life, not to give you an excuse to blow off your top and actually post that shit. Besides, why should I regret telling you shit I am glad now I told you? You were the one who declared yourself single and looking even though I was in deep shit, didn't even tried to hear me out (which was all I wanted at the time I called you when it happened what happened), getting jealous about my friends (which you didn't have a right to, they are MY fucking friends, and definitely not yours) and putting my family down the floor (I should have left you THEN! I am the only one who can say shit about my family, you had no right to do it but I let you and now I regret it)... seriously, knock it the fuck off.
I must admit though, you do have a point, I am fucking egocentric but you know what? I love being this way, that way I don't have to deal with idiots like you, who think are always right! And well, you might expect me to recognize the good things you did for me, but really if you think about it I didn't ask you to do "anything" for me. If you have a high developed brain (which I seriously doubt since I have to explain this shit) I asked you to do things that in the long run would benefit YOU (like the stop smoking thing, that wasn't a sacrifice you cunt, I just didn't want you to die or to have an oxygen tank at your side and I having to watch you in pity, but go ahead, screw your lungs, as you can see I could give less of a shit about it, since it's your life, all I can do is recommend you to stop it because it's bad), so stop saying that you did "something" for me, because you did NOTHING for me.
By the way, what the hell do you mean by a "solution"? All you did was run away so don't come to me with "solution" because between us you are the worst of the two.
[EDIT: Close? If by close you also mean close enough to where you certainly tried to blackmail me more than once then I do not share your closeness, please get away from me if that's where you're coming from you idiot!]
And if you feel upset about my own final compromise of it all then just look out the window: I have a life long enough to be hating you all of it. As a person I don't hate you, as a woman I would never want to date you, as a friend I don't need you, and as an enemy most definitely not, I don't have enemies. I am just replying to you to give you the juice of what I did, not because I care, I am indifferent to what happens to you, I don't wish you harm though.
By the way, murphy's law states that everything that can go wrong will go wrong, you used it wrongly in your post, that proves again my theory, that you'll never stop being an idiot, so do yourself a favor and try next time to come with better arguments about why you're pissed off, alright? (pat in the back).
With that said, the rest of you can eat me.
The last post wasn't about me actually wanting to go back and actually "licking" the "wound" I created. Hell, I shouldn't have placed that shit at all!
Look, I know some of you (you know who you are and don't try to act like an idiot) have posted on your wall what I consider a fucking insult to something I did OUT OF MY HEART! This is the last time I ever post ANYTHING regretting my actions. If you can't bear for someone who harmed you to come back and say "alright I was wrong, I apologize" then you don't need to hear my apologies now don't you? No, in fact, I am right, you don't need to hear shit from me!
I really try to be at peace, I really do, but you people would rather be stuck up assholes and bitch about how "soft" I become all of a sudden. You know? Last time I did this shit I got insulted also, so fuck all of you, I am not posting anything soft, ever, period. And if you ask "oh, but you tend to do it anyways" well guess what? I WON'T FUCKING DO IT! Just posts about my week or month from now on, don't wanna stare at any of your bullshit any longer.
Now, for my ex-girlfriend (who started some bullshit post) let me tell you: HAHAHAHAHA! Really? Me trying to clean up a mess? No, I merely was wishing you to have a nice life, I am not interested in coming back with you nor do I have feelings for you anymore. I mean, sure, you still hold a place in my life, and as a person I wish you the best since I can't hate you (alright, I admit, I was so pissed off at you that I woke up for 3 weeks getting upset at you but couldn't do shit about it, so I just made journals about how stupid you were, and I'm still pissed at you and everytime I think about you it fucking pisses me off FYI!) but seriously, stop assuming shit I haven't even said nor implied. The song was just to wish you a happy life, not to give you an excuse to blow off your top and actually post that shit. Besides, why should I regret telling you shit I am glad now I told you? You were the one who declared yourself single and looking even though I was in deep shit, didn't even tried to hear me out (which was all I wanted at the time I called you when it happened what happened), getting jealous about my friends (which you didn't have a right to, they are MY fucking friends, and definitely not yours) and putting my family down the floor (I should have left you THEN! I am the only one who can say shit about my family, you had no right to do it but I let you and now I regret it)... seriously, knock it the fuck off.
I must admit though, you do have a point, I am fucking egocentric but you know what? I love being this way, that way I don't have to deal with idiots like you, who think are always right! And well, you might expect me to recognize the good things you did for me, but really if you think about it I didn't ask you to do "anything" for me. If you have a high developed brain (which I seriously doubt since I have to explain this shit) I asked you to do things that in the long run would benefit YOU (like the stop smoking thing, that wasn't a sacrifice you cunt, I just didn't want you to die or to have an oxygen tank at your side and I having to watch you in pity, but go ahead, screw your lungs, as you can see I could give less of a shit about it, since it's your life, all I can do is recommend you to stop it because it's bad), so stop saying that you did "something" for me, because you did NOTHING for me.
By the way, what the hell do you mean by a "solution"? All you did was run away so don't come to me with "solution" because between us you are the worst of the two.
[EDIT: Close? If by close you also mean close enough to where you certainly tried to blackmail me more than once then I do not share your closeness, please get away from me if that's where you're coming from you idiot!]
And if you feel upset about my own final compromise of it all then just look out the window: I have a life long enough to be hating you all of it. As a person I don't hate you, as a woman I would never want to date you, as a friend I don't need you, and as an enemy most definitely not, I don't have enemies. I am just replying to you to give you the juice of what I did, not because I care, I am indifferent to what happens to you, I don't wish you harm though.
By the way, murphy's law states that everything that can go wrong will go wrong, you used it wrongly in your post, that proves again my theory, that you'll never stop being an idiot, so do yourself a favor and try next time to come with better arguments about why you're pissed off, alright? (pat in the back).
With that said, the rest of you can eat me.
Friday, September 17, 2010
You could be happy
I know I don't dedicate a lot of stuff out there for you all to see, but here you go, a last song to dedicate to who I loved the last time with everything I had and at the end she ended up hitting the road as well.
And here's the lyrics to follow:
You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go
And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played on lips 'till it's madness in my head
Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur
Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door
You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far
Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true
Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do
More than anything I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world
That being done, well, nothing much to say here. I know you are my past now, dear ex-girlfriend of mine, and that you are doing well, and, as much as you think I am very antagonistic and that I am colder than hell, I'm actually glad you are making it. As the last part of the song says "More than anything I want to see you go take a glorious bite out of the whole world". You have a chance at life yet, don't waste it.
And here's the lyrics to follow:
You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go
And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played on lips 'till it's madness in my head
Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur
Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door
You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far
Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true
Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do
More than anything I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world
That being done, well, nothing much to say here. I know you are my past now, dear ex-girlfriend of mine, and that you are doing well, and, as much as you think I am very antagonistic and that I am colder than hell, I'm actually glad you are making it. As the last part of the song says "More than anything I want to see you go take a glorious bite out of the whole world". You have a chance at life yet, don't waste it.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
How to be a girlfriend
Alright, I know I did a previous post about this, but there are some things that were left unsaid. First of all I apologize to just including guys on my last post, obviously there are some batshit insane women out there that will make a man's life miserable. This is a guide for those women that are being jealous controlling pricks over men that basically don't give a damn about some stuff (like me)
You say you love your boyfriend? That's all right, but if you want to keep him stop acting like every second of yours fucking matters! We all have issues and you're not the center of the world either (except when we have the time to give you the place you want as the queen of our lives [when we are alone]). Besides, if you start demanding more time we will give it, but we will resent it eventually because in the time we actually give to you out of our day we try to be as romantic, funny, and social as possible.
Secondly, you don't go saying "I'm single" or expect men to say it to hide their relationship. We would do it but hell, you asking us this shit? It's like if I asked my future kids to lie about having an education when EVERYONE can see their degree in their fucking house! Lying about the obvious is too stupid and definitely not a good idea. Besides, once you say that idea you lose all rights to be jealous.
About jealousy, I will say the same thing as I said for guys: it's all a matter of trust. If you do trust him then you won't be a possessive idiot looking through his cellphone, his computer, or anything related to her. Also, we do have female friends, and some have been of years, so stop arguing that just because we had a crush on her but now we are just friends you are scared and want her out of our lives. Notice I said our, as in male, not yours, this is because you have the usual thing to be into this "batshit" mode every time you see someone as competition because we are somewhat close to them (you know who you are).
With that said, I hope I have left some things clear.
You say you love your boyfriend? That's all right, but if you want to keep him stop acting like every second of yours fucking matters! We all have issues and you're not the center of the world either (except when we have the time to give you the place you want as the queen of our lives [when we are alone]). Besides, if you start demanding more time we will give it, but we will resent it eventually because in the time we actually give to you out of our day we try to be as romantic, funny, and social as possible.
Secondly, you don't go saying "I'm single" or expect men to say it to hide their relationship. We would do it but hell, you asking us this shit? It's like if I asked my future kids to lie about having an education when EVERYONE can see their degree in their fucking house! Lying about the obvious is too stupid and definitely not a good idea. Besides, once you say that idea you lose all rights to be jealous.
About jealousy, I will say the same thing as I said for guys: it's all a matter of trust. If you do trust him then you won't be a possessive idiot looking through his cellphone, his computer, or anything related to her. Also, we do have female friends, and some have been of years, so stop arguing that just because we had a crush on her but now we are just friends you are scared and want her out of our lives. Notice I said our, as in male, not yours, this is because you have the usual thing to be into this "batshit" mode every time you see someone as competition because we are somewhat close to them (you know who you are).
With that said, I hope I have left some things clear.
Continuum Shift
Well, before I continue with my reflection for the day, I have to announce that the previous posts that I made were complete shit so I deleted them. You see, when you let me just rant and vent about the crap I see it's wrong usually I'll say "man, this is useless" and I delete it. So next time any of you try to stop me or make me remove a post I will leave it permanently and fuck you all. This blog was designed for my right to rant and express myself about whatever the hell I want, not for your whiny comments and telling me to drop something on a public web. You miss the point that most things are made for the public to see for a reason, I do it because I want people to know just what kind of asshole can I be and the other side of me (the good, intellectual side). I really don't know about your rights on other countries, but here in US ground I have the right to express myself in whatever form I see fit and without consulting you, my parents, or the president.
Anyways, on with the reflexion itself.
After what happened and the fight I had with that chick, Delia, I decided to say fuck it all. Yes, I finally moved on from that stage of my life (ex girlfriend and her), although I am still single. Now, you might probably say "but Bloodedge, you can't move on by being single! You need to start dating!" And the answer is no, I don't fucking need to date right now, probably not until my projected graduation in 4 years from now in a Master's degree in History anyways.
That being said, I am taking a different approach to life now. I want to focus all I can on my education. My education is way more important than deciding who I want to marry anyways at this point in my life so that's on the side now. And I am shifting my entire career: I still want to do research, but I am taking the back seat on my entire business thing now that I am on my way to become a teacher. As I am into this more and more I see that I have what it takes to excel as a teacher, even if I am not a leader of a company I can still make a greater impact by being a teacher.
My dream is to set my mark on the world, and teaching is what will make me the happiest at achieving that task really. I am happier at this than any other thing, maybe even to the point of taking history down a notch on my top list.
Most people will feel disappointed at this change, as they probably expected me to become something important and high on the world, but really and truly being a teacher is a great responsibility, even more than an invention. I have concluded that by being a teacher I am living in both body and spirit my beliefs, and I like to think that I can change one's view of the world, and it inclines me to be even more disciplined since now because, how will I be able to teach if I am not a good teacher and student myself?
In conclusion, let me recap:
1 - I am definitely over with my whole mourning over my loss and anger and all of that.
2 - The prior rants were completely useless, but I hope they taught a lesson to those I tried to reach
3 - I am happy that my ex (sorta, and I say sorta not because we are still together or even talking) did finally find someone who was nice to her.
4 - I am shifting my entire goals and purposes, dating and history taking a deep back seat for education
5 - I am trying to become what a teacher should be.
With those points in mind, I leave this reflexion as finished.
"To become a teacher, one needs not be smart, or diligent, or even good at their subject. It is a combination of knowledge, discipline, wisdom and other things that distinguishes a leader as well as a teacher" - Own
Anyways, on with the reflexion itself.
After what happened and the fight I had with that chick, Delia, I decided to say fuck it all. Yes, I finally moved on from that stage of my life (ex girlfriend and her), although I am still single. Now, you might probably say "but Bloodedge, you can't move on by being single! You need to start dating!" And the answer is no, I don't fucking need to date right now, probably not until my projected graduation in 4 years from now in a Master's degree in History anyways.
That being said, I am taking a different approach to life now. I want to focus all I can on my education. My education is way more important than deciding who I want to marry anyways at this point in my life so that's on the side now. And I am shifting my entire career: I still want to do research, but I am taking the back seat on my entire business thing now that I am on my way to become a teacher. As I am into this more and more I see that I have what it takes to excel as a teacher, even if I am not a leader of a company I can still make a greater impact by being a teacher.
My dream is to set my mark on the world, and teaching is what will make me the happiest at achieving that task really. I am happier at this than any other thing, maybe even to the point of taking history down a notch on my top list.
Most people will feel disappointed at this change, as they probably expected me to become something important and high on the world, but really and truly being a teacher is a great responsibility, even more than an invention. I have concluded that by being a teacher I am living in both body and spirit my beliefs, and I like to think that I can change one's view of the world, and it inclines me to be even more disciplined since now because, how will I be able to teach if I am not a good teacher and student myself?
In conclusion, let me recap:
1 - I am definitely over with my whole mourning over my loss and anger and all of that.
2 - The prior rants were completely useless, but I hope they taught a lesson to those I tried to reach
3 - I am happy that my ex (sorta, and I say sorta not because we are still together or even talking) did finally find someone who was nice to her.
4 - I am shifting my entire goals and purposes, dating and history taking a deep back seat for education
5 - I am trying to become what a teacher should be.
With those points in mind, I leave this reflexion as finished.
"To become a teacher, one needs not be smart, or diligent, or even good at their subject. It is a combination of knowledge, discipline, wisdom and other things that distinguishes a leader as well as a teacher" - Own
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Note for everyone
Well, I don't know; I said in an earlier post that I was going to stop writing here; BUT this whole blogger thing is too good to miss. So from now on the doors to this blog are officially reopened.
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